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My (not sure who this is she doesn’t put her name to it) last blog The Perfect “O” has unveiled some very confronting truths about the secret tales of a female’s sex life. If my girlfriends are a true depiction of the female population then 50 percent of women do not orgasm during sex. This is down right devastating news! Ladies night out turned to a dinner focused on my most recent blog and the gushing truth about my friend’s painful bedroom antics. Yes, literally painful. Women having sex to pleasure rather than be pleasured. So if you happen to be someone who doesn’t reach that shuddering state… do you fake it? Or do you be truthful and hope he is happy with the fact that it is you not him? Faking it A little squeal, grabbing his arms, and then a moment of complete exhaustion seems easy enough to play out. In fact, two out of my three girlfriends who are non-“O”ers confess to also being fakers. Scared that he will feel not man enough, the easiest solution is stepping through the motions… although never reaping the benefits. Tragically they told of being in total and utter pain and counting down the minutes for him to reach that blissful state. Don’t get me wrong, these ladies find everything else about their relationships to be so wonderful that they want to see their partner satisfied. Sexually, that is. The question is… can guys tell when you are faking it? After asking half a dozen of my guy friends whether they have had a girl fake it or not, they all answered NO. So seemingly it’s highly likely guys can’t tell the difference, or women have become brilliant actors. Confronting the no “O” head on When having sex most men tend jump in the express “O” lane when they hear or watch their partner heading there themselves. Feeling like they’re the man or the ultimate pleasure God ignites a whole other level of intensity. No wonder there is pressure and a slight anxiety for those women needing to confess their inability to reach an orgasm. Reassuring a guy’s ego and confirming it is not them it is you is the trick to addressing the issue. Ultimately they are men and as long they are being satisfied and have belief in their manhood they will accept that some women just aren’t able to hit the high note. At the end of the day, it is better to create a relationship based on trust and empathy than one with secrets. Remember that confidence is key to a successful sex life and relationship. Let go, be honest and enjoy the fact that you have met a special person you have that spark and chemistry with. I t is now very apparent to me that “O”s aren’t so common so don’t feel alone, don’t feel inadequate, feel like the wonderful woman you are! Here’s a response from one male reader of the blog… I think there are times when I've thought a partner was faking it, but there could well have been times when I've thought the orgasm was genuine, but wasn't. Ladies, if you are going to fake it, make sure you do a good job, as, at least to me, it just made the fakers I caught out seem silly. If your partner is not getting you there, give him some suggestions. I found that many women have slightly different things they like, you can either hope your partner stumbles across yours, or you can show them the way. DF
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Nothing like a good bit of tautology to start with. Have a read of my article, Shhh…The Things We Don’t Say To Men, then come back and read of this blog/article dated 17-5-11 Dating Dilemmas – To Fake or Not to Fake.