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Sex Advice for Couples

 

84% of men said their female partners definitely orgasmed last time they had sex. 64% or women said they orgasmed last time they had sex. Doh! Those figures don’t add up.

80% of women who responded to the survey said they didn’t think their partners had any idea when they were faking it! And 91% of the fakers had no intention of telling. So how is the poor bloke supposed to know that what he’s doing isn’t doing it for you unless you tell him. And, what are you getting out of it for pity sake?

Try these: The Ice Breaker - Raising the Topic: Since this is a sensitive subject, it’s key to emphasise your role in the situation, rather than pinning it on him. “You want him to empathize with your experience,” says Herbenick. “If you’re embarrassed by your difficulties reaching orgasm, or worried that he’ll get annoyed that you take so long, you should tell him.” This shows that you don’t blame him for your climax drought.

Initiate the conversation outside the bedroom, when he’s fully clothed (and less vulnerable). Say something to the effect of, “Hey, I want to talk to you about something. It’s kind of embarrassing, so I’ve been having a hard time bringing it up before now.” Here’s another tip that might help you out: In Herbenick’s research, she found that women are much more likely than men to indicate that they’re “not sure” if they had an orgasm during their most recent sexual experience. Men almost always know because there’s physical evidence, but women (especially younger women) routinely express confusion and ambiguity.
If this sounds like you, Herbenick recommends telling your guy: “I was reading that women don’t always know when they have orgasms, and it got me thinking. What we do feels incredible, but I think that if we try something a little different, I might be able to experience something more intense. I’d love to try that with you.” This way he won’t think that everything he’s been doing is wrong... and he might be intrigued by the potential to bring you even greater sexual pleasure.


GPS – Direction Correction
Start off by reassuring him that you’ve been enjoying yourself even without orgasms. “Give him props for the things he’s doing right,” Herbenick says. Then tell him you want to work together to get to the big O and that sex might feel even more amazing if he goes a little gentler, adds a finger, or whatever it is you need. Just be specific about what you’d like him to do. “It’s very frustrating to hear your partner say, ‘No, that’s not going to work, try something else,’” Herbenick says. The clincher, of course, is knowing what you want, so explore on yourself first to see what gets you there. Don’t be shy when it comes to introducing sex toys (something to suit everyone here) boys like to play as much as you do. But you may want to introduce the idea when you’ve both still got your clothes on.