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If you believe what you see in porn, you’d assume that every woman has the ability to squirt. Sites from SquirtNation.com to GushBusters.com shower you with scenes of naked girls shooting out powerful jets of liquid during orgasm.

These sites claim that you’re seeing 100% true and unretouched images of female ejaculation … but are you?

According to New Scientist, “most pornography scenes that depict women ejaculating are indeed staged. Either the fluid is put into the vagina beforehand off-camera, or the actresses are simply urinating.”

Sadly, this is backed up by a range of other sources. The proof, one source says, is in the quantity. The female prostate (considered to be the Skene’s glands) isn’t big enough to hold the quantities of liquid seen in porn shoots.

Also, women commonly feel the need to pee when their G-spot is stimulated, and, according to Dr. Gary Schubach, this stimulation can cause the bladder sphincter to involuntarily open.

So chances are what you’re watching in porn videos are jets of urine mixed in with a small amount of genuinely ejaculated fluid.

The good news is that female ejaculation is real; it just doesn’t look like what you’d expect from porn videos.

One woman who tried to train herself to ejaculate, based on a DVD instructional video, found herself disappointed with the measly 4 inches (10 cm) that her first squirting attempt accomplished.

However, she should have been impressed with herself! The small quantity she produced suggests that she wasn’t expelling urine simultaneously, and that her ejaculation was 100% real.

There are a number of instructional websites and DVDs claiming to teach women to ejaculate, and in general they recommend the same technique…

But it’s not quite as simple as that.

The woman has to be incredibly relaxed to allow herself to do something that she’s never done before. Most experts agree that more women don’t ejaculate because they’re taught that leaking urine is a bad thing. They don’t want to make a mess on the bed, and they’re embarrassed if they lose control over their bladder.

But that involuntary tightening is exactly what prevents women from ejaculating, although it also protect them from releasing urine unwittingly.

To cultivate her ability to ejaculate, a woman has to get comfortable with the idea of wetting the bed first. She shouldn’t worry if her first ejaculation attempt ends up with her peeing on the bed, rather than ejaculating.

Her partner must also be incredibly supportive. If he puts pressure on her, acts like her excretions are “gross,” or makes her feel inferior for being unable to ejaculate, she will tense up – which is the exact opposite of what she needs to do to achieve her goal.

She should always urinate before any ejaculation attempt, to make sure that her bladder is empty. Then, she should slowly become aroused through whatever means she prefers (oral sex, manual stimulation, etc.).

Getting her to the peak of arousal may take some time. Aim for half an hour at least, although some experiments have involved arousal periods of an hour. Then, once she’s aroused as she can possibly be without coming, focus on stimulating the G-spot.

We have the perfect G-spot stimulator here at Sex.co.nz, designed to help a woman ejaculate.

She’ll feel like she has to pee, but the key is to keep on going. Even though she may want to stop, or she may feel like she’ll pee all over, her first ejaculation lies on the other side of the wall.

Don’t be disappointed if you don’t get the kind of gusher you’d expect from porn videos. A real female ejaculation is worth a fake one on film every time!